I have been reading Jason Vale's 'Kick the drink...easily!' It is a great book. One of the underlining points is that alcohol is poison and that your body can not deal with poison. It really makes you question why you pour poison in to your body anyway.
Big weekend away in the caravan = big test. It would normally be, pitch up and get the beers out. Don't think that I will feel like I am missing out now.
Friday, 17 June 2016
Thursday, 16 June 2016
Day 4
Well, dear friends. I chose life!
I suprised myself and powered through a seriously glum time.
I even spoke to my DH about not drinking for 3 days and how I might see if I could do without. He looked mildly amused in a 'will see it when it happens' - which gave me a real kick up the arse. Bloody can do this!
Had another fab night sleep and woke up feeling refreshed and awake. So much calmer with the kids the morning, no shouting at all!
Jason Vale book arrived this morning so I am looking forward to starting on that too.
Am going to take the 2 bottles of wine out of the caravan - I will not need them at all.
Feeling positive about this life change. Get in .... oh and Come on England!!!
I suprised myself and powered through a seriously glum time.
I even spoke to my DH about not drinking for 3 days and how I might see if I could do without. He looked mildly amused in a 'will see it when it happens' - which gave me a real kick up the arse. Bloody can do this!
Had another fab night sleep and woke up feeling refreshed and awake. So much calmer with the kids the morning, no shouting at all!
Jason Vale book arrived this morning so I am looking forward to starting on that too.
Am going to take the 2 bottles of wine out of the caravan - I will not need them at all.
Feeling positive about this life change. Get in .... oh and Come on England!!!
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Day 3 - Bloody hard
Not much to say. Had a look on Soberistas site for inspiration. Saw a quote that day 3 was a turning point. Most people decide one way or the other on day 3. I am undecided. Going away at the weekend and would always be a boozy one. Wine witch keeps telling me that I have proven my point, clearly drink is not an issue and I should just crack open the chilled Italian white in the fridge. I put the wine in the fridge yesterday - goodness knows why. Very stupid.
Tuesday, 14 June 2016
Day 2 - The List
I kept myself so busy, that I got through the witching hour. I am so proud of myself. Granted, it is only one day but it is a tiny step in a long journey.
Sober Mummy - Mummy was a Secret Drinker suggests that we write a list of all of the reasons to give up drinking. Here are mine, in no particular order;
1. I am ashamed that my daughter believes that I only drink wine.
2. I am worried that my daughter tells everyone that I only drink wine.
(Ok those two are the most important)
3. Weight - I have put on 9 pounds in the last year. I barely eat during the day and do not have a sweet tooth at all. It is all around my waist and arse. Not a good look. Also, my face is puffy - I am sure I used to have cheek bones?!?
4. I fear that I will get a serious illness if I carry on drinking.
5. I am frittering my housekeeping away on alcohol and then having to re-jig money around to do normal shopping.
6. My life has stalled. My work hours vary so I can be at home quite a bit. I have lost my confidence with my work and I know I need to make a change but can't quite see how I am going to do it. Not aided by the foggy feeling I have most days.
So today, I am sorting my house out. I have a Mindfulness colouring book and 3 football matches that I will be compelled to watch with DS. I am powering on and through (hopefully!)
Sober Mummy - Mummy was a Secret Drinker suggests that we write a list of all of the reasons to give up drinking. Here are mine, in no particular order;
1. I am ashamed that my daughter believes that I only drink wine.
2. I am worried that my daughter tells everyone that I only drink wine.
(Ok those two are the most important)
3. Weight - I have put on 9 pounds in the last year. I barely eat during the day and do not have a sweet tooth at all. It is all around my waist and arse. Not a good look. Also, my face is puffy - I am sure I used to have cheek bones?!?
4. I fear that I will get a serious illness if I carry on drinking.
5. I am frittering my housekeeping away on alcohol and then having to re-jig money around to do normal shopping.
6. My life has stalled. My work hours vary so I can be at home quite a bit. I have lost my confidence with my work and I know I need to make a change but can't quite see how I am going to do it. Not aided by the foggy feeling I have most days.
So today, I am sorting my house out. I have a Mindfulness colouring book and 3 football matches that I will be compelled to watch with DS. I am powering on and through (hopefully!)
Monday, 13 June 2016
Day 1 - The Witching Hour
This is my problem time. Cooking tea normally comes with a casual glass of wine. I am really struggling. I have also noticed recently that I have been cooking 'over the top' food during the week, so that I can have the excuse of opening a nice bottle to compliment the meal. Seriously, who in their right mind has the time / effort / money to produce a Jamie Oliver etc meal every night?!?! Just a wonderful excuse. Damn.
I have spent this afternoon reading my favourite blog - Mummy was a Secret Drinker. Every time that I doubt whether I have a problem, I refer back there. It reminds me that, actually I do. I should know this, I spend most of the day thinking about wine. What a waste of time and energy.
I have spent this afternoon reading my favourite blog - Mummy was a Secret Drinker. Every time that I doubt whether I have a problem, I refer back there. It reminds me that, actually I do. I should know this, I spend most of the day thinking about wine. What a waste of time and energy.
Day 1 - again
I am so angry with myself. Let me talk you through how I failed yesterday.
It was my son's football presentation. My DH suggested that we got a taxi so that we could both 'enjoy' a drink. "No", I smugly said, "I will drive". I drove, I politely declined a drink, I offered others a lift home. I went to the bar in my own time and ordered a soft drink. I listened as my fellow mums talked about how they didn't really want to drink today and I felt completely righteous. The presentation ran for 5 hours!! At one point I even made the old Airplane! joke, "Looks like I chose the wrong week to quit drinking". Everyone thought that this was hilarious but I think it was more the concept of me giving up drinking.
We came home and the wine witch found me. She persuaded me that I clearly didn't have a problem as I had made it through a very important day without a drink - this therefore meant that I was ok to polish off the 2/3rds bottle of white left in the fridge. After all, it will be easier to quit drinking after that last open bottle has gone. And so I did. And I didn't enjoy it. And I decided that I wasn't going to bother with my blog anymore because not drinking forever is a very, very long time. And I threw away my log-in details.
And then I woke up this morning. And I felt ashamed. So I am back.
To quote Steve Bruce - "We go again", and so I will. And I will come back later. I promise.
It was my son's football presentation. My DH suggested that we got a taxi so that we could both 'enjoy' a drink. "No", I smugly said, "I will drive". I drove, I politely declined a drink, I offered others a lift home. I went to the bar in my own time and ordered a soft drink. I listened as my fellow mums talked about how they didn't really want to drink today and I felt completely righteous. The presentation ran for 5 hours!! At one point I even made the old Airplane! joke, "Looks like I chose the wrong week to quit drinking". Everyone thought that this was hilarious but I think it was more the concept of me giving up drinking.
We came home and the wine witch found me. She persuaded me that I clearly didn't have a problem as I had made it through a very important day without a drink - this therefore meant that I was ok to polish off the 2/3rds bottle of white left in the fridge. After all, it will be easier to quit drinking after that last open bottle has gone. And so I did. And I didn't enjoy it. And I decided that I wasn't going to bother with my blog anymore because not drinking forever is a very, very long time. And I threw away my log-in details.
And then I woke up this morning. And I felt ashamed. So I am back.
To quote Steve Bruce - "We go again", and so I will. And I will come back later. I promise.
Sunday, 12 June 2016
Day 1
A few things have been happening recently and it has been unnerving. My DD (9) has started to comment regularly about how much wine Mummy has. I tried to explain to her that Mummy doesn't just drink wine - to which she replied "No, you drink beer too!" To say I was angry was an understatement. I drink tea, coffee and various soft drinks throughout the day - how dare she say that I only drink wine and beer. So what did I do, did I show her how wrong she was and that Mummy was definitely not a drinker?!? No, I went to book club armed with a very nice Italian white which I subsequently polished off in record speed, followed by another equally nice Italian white. I came home, went to bed and promptly forgot about our conversation.
In the middle of the night I woke up and started thinking. Why didn't DD realise that I drank other drinks throughout the day..... And then it hit me, because as soon as they come home from school I crack open a bottle. Stressful day? Nice tea? Film night? Football match on tv? The reasons for me to open a bottle are endless. Ouch. Not a good role model.
I stop my kids from eating 2 bags of crisps or 2 chocolate bars a day because it is unhealthy and yet here am I every day showing them that polishing off a bottle of wine a day is a good idea.
To quote the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert;
"I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit".
This is where I am, bullshit and all.
Today it stops and I begin again.
In the middle of the night I woke up and started thinking. Why didn't DD realise that I drank other drinks throughout the day..... And then it hit me, because as soon as they come home from school I crack open a bottle. Stressful day? Nice tea? Film night? Football match on tv? The reasons for me to open a bottle are endless. Ouch. Not a good role model.
I stop my kids from eating 2 bags of crisps or 2 chocolate bars a day because it is unhealthy and yet here am I every day showing them that polishing off a bottle of wine a day is a good idea.
To quote the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert;
"I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit".
This is where I am, bullshit and all.
Today it stops and I begin again.
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