A few things have been happening recently and it has been unnerving. My DD (9) has started to comment regularly about how much wine Mummy has. I tried to explain to her that Mummy doesn't just drink wine - to which she replied "No, you drink beer too!" To say I was angry was an understatement. I drink tea, coffee and various soft drinks throughout the day - how dare she say that I only drink wine and beer. So what did I do, did I show her how wrong she was and that Mummy was definitely not a drinker?!? No, I went to book club armed with a very nice Italian white which I subsequently polished off in record speed, followed by another equally nice Italian white. I came home, went to bed and promptly forgot about our conversation.
In the middle of the night I woke up and started thinking. Why didn't DD realise that I drank other drinks throughout the day..... And then it hit me, because as soon as they come home from school I crack open a bottle. Stressful day? Nice tea? Film night? Football match on tv? The reasons for me to open a bottle are endless. Ouch. Not a good role model.
I stop my kids from eating 2 bags of crisps or 2 chocolate bars a day because it is unhealthy and yet here am I every day showing them that polishing off a bottle of wine a day is a good idea.
To quote the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert;
"I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit".
This is where I am, bullshit and all.
Today it stops and I begin again.
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